Hypnotic Voodoo Rhythm

For all of you who don't know, I am currently enrolled in an anthropology class. And once again, for all of you who don't know, anthropology is the study of human cultures. I decided to take the "Human Cultures" course to widen my perspective of our world and become a more understanding person.


It hasn't worked.


In fact, I have had a completely different reaction, but to first understand said reaction, you must get a glimpse of my most recent anthro class. Today we were studying religion. And now that all of you who know me are now bracing for a good old fashion rant, I can only oblige. In class today we studied the Yanomamo, a tribe of native people in Venezuela. The Yanomamo tribesmen are lunatics. Besides having the craziest fucking name ever conceived by man, they are also hardcore recreational drug users (and all in the name of the spirits). Now stop here for a moment and lets think about the recreational drug users you know. You're probably thinking of some coke head passed out in a trashcan wearing no pants with a birthday hat happily perched on his left ass cheek. This is nothing. This is the pre-game for the Yanomamo. The Yanomamo people take a hallucinogenic powder (called Yopo) and snort it to achieve their high. Not that impressive, until you take a look at their injection system. You see, the Yanomamo prefer to have their hallucinogenics blasted into the deepest crevasses of their brain matter. To facilitate this one Yanomaman man loads what can only be described as a blow gun, with drug powder and jams it up another mans nose. You're all smart people, you can do the figuring from there. After having their brains basted in a thick coating of cocaine the men preform religious rituals, consisting of running around the town, ass naked, screaming their heads off (I would know, I watched 40 mins of video on it).


And that's when my epiphany occurred. Our society, with all of our human rights, modern medicine, and fancy technology, is incredibly lame. Maybe you differ from my opinion, but I would trade a 9-5 desk job for marinading my brain in organic hallucinogens while dancing naked any day of the week. So I declare to you all now that I am abandoning my collegiate pursuits to become a shaman! 


I'll see you all in the spirit world.


Or maybe not...


JAB